Spam
Poetry from Spam 1: Are Ye Engaged In This Function
(from an email received from Sam Thomas)
What a great day,
Another location for Boxing Worker
for our parcel biz was revealed.
If you’re trembling about our brigade's position,
please, do not hesitate to send an e-mail to
our comradeship so we can be able to report
U more precise specs.
Check: 4,000 dollars per month.
If U would tangibly operate inside thine
apartment from 9 AM ending with 5 PM,
ya'll could take some dough.
Thou shall not be obliged
to have business with stodgy boxes.
The cornerstone of our function
is to deal with bales. You will seem a thoroughbred
fit for said stance if ya'll are a new mommy,
a classman of remote mode of education,
pensioner, unable to work a full day outdoors man
or woman, or the woman which disrelished
to make exit household to do labor.
Thou will not be constrained to act with grave wrappings.
Generally, you would search out frocks or amusements
inside the bundles.
Are ye engaged into this function?
Keep in mind being at your residence
from 9 to 5 o'clock is an obligatory thing
to be able to be hired at the mentioned stance
(otherwise, the mentioned bidding ain't for ye, unluckily).
Poetry from Spam 2: Problem at The High Sea
(from an email received from Leslie)
we have not met each other but
I trust you and give you my whole heart
I am sitting by the seashore now
praying that nothing happens to us
we've done all we could to put
the brain box of the ship in order to no avail
we received information from the signal house
there are sea pirates blocking the sea
because of this problem at the high sea
the situation here is getting worse
the ship is very slow and we are yet
to get a response from headquarters
our captain just announced passengers
should offload their goods as
the ship will duck here for other weeks
until it’s safe to continue sailing
my problem now is my documents my
savings and what little money I have with me
to buy metal oil in drums in Australia
and supply to a company in Mexico
I don't want to lose my money to sea pirates
because I know how I suffered for it
at this time I need you to stand by me
so that life can move straight with us
I know you will never disappoint or hurt me
Poetry from Spam 3: You Have Truly Been Swindled
(from an email received from the FBI)
After proper and several
investigations and research
we found your name among those
that have sent money through
Western Union and MoneyGram
this proves that you have truly
been swindled by those unscrupulous
persons by sending money through
Western Union and MoneyGram
in the course of getting one fund
or the other that is not real
In this regard a meeting was held
between the Board of Directors of
Western Union and Moneygram,
the FBI, alongside with the Ministry of Finance,
and as a consequence it was agreed
that the sum of Two Million Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollars
should be transferred to you out from
the fund that has been set aside
as compensation payment
for scam victims
Yours sincerely,
Christopher A. Wray
FBI
Poetry from Spam comes from email found in the spam folder of editor@holeintheheadreview.com
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